When asking about training for their horses, people often want to know how long it will take the fix a problem or get a specific result. My answer is always “it depends”. It depends on the horse. It depends on the handler. It depends on their commitment to change. It depends on consistency.

How quickly are you able to change a habit or learn something new? When people realize that in order to get the change they want in their horse, they are required to change their own behaviour, they often move on to the next trainer. They keep looking until they find someone who promises them that quick fix. The problem with the quick fix is that it generally only works in the short term. Quick fixes deal only with the symptoms but do not address the cause of the behaviour. Unless you address the cause, the behaviour will return or another behaviour will replace it. Stress must come out in some way, shape or form.

At a recent clinic, one of the participants had a 10 year old quarter horse mare who was “great to ride as long as she doesn’t rear when I get on her”. The mare demonstrated extreme stress in her body and posture as soon as she thought I was going to get on her. I began working with her to eliminate the stress response and bring her into a feel good shape while we both just stood at the mounting block. After 15-20 minutes of this work, I was able to stand on the mounting block and she was able to stand there quietly and relaxed. That is, until I lifted my foot towards the stirrup. I told the owner that this was the work the mare needed to help her resolve the stress she feels about being ridden. The owner needs to break the mounting process down into the smallest steps making sure the mare stays relaxed through every step - foot in the stirrup, weight on the stirrup, stepping up as if she was going to mount, and finally getting in the saddle. The owner looked at me and said “but, I don’t have the time for this!” I shook my head and said “you have the choice between living with the behaviour or sacrificing your riding time for training time to resolve the issue”. Personally, I have no desire to get on a horse who is so unhappy about having me on her back that she will rear. I prefer to ride horses that are happy in their work. After all, the horse has no choice in the matter. Most horse owners I meet profess to ride because they love horses. They have a vision of a special bond between themselves and their horses. Because the owner loves the riding, they assume the horse does to. But, it is the human that makes all the choices. The human decides what type of riding, when to ride, how long to ride, where to ride, when to walk, trot and canter.

Most adult riders bring their own stress and agenda’s with them to the barn and onto the backs of their horses. Their minds are not really focused on the horse. They want to go for a ride and get frustrated because their horse won’t stand still in the cross-ties, bites when the girth is done up, puts her head up high for bridling, won’t stand still for mounting , jigs on the trail or refuses to go forward in the ring. These behaviours are how the horse expresses his or her stress and/or unwillingness to work with their human partner.

Some horses have simply learned that “resistance is futile” and their “willingness” to do what the owner expects of them is really learned helplessness. They shut down and become stoic. They go through the motions but without any enjoyment of the time spent with the human. The very least we owe these magnificent animals that we profess to “love” is to take the time with training to ensure they feel good about what they are doing and how they are doing it. To eliminate resistance not through fear and dominance, but through creating a true bond made of mutual trust and trust. To have empathy for the horse and ensure he or she is benefitting from the partnership as much as we are. If we are not considering the horse , then we are creating an illusion to make our own lives better.

Good training that considers the horse takes time. Untraining existing unwanted behaviour takes even more time. Do you love your horse enough to take the time to give him or her what she needs? To put his or her needs before your own goals? As my mentor, Chris Irwin says, “Ask not what your horse can do for you. Ask what you can do for your horse.” In the long run, you will find that both you and your horse benefit and you will achieve that magical bond you have been seeking.

Ever most definitely has a mind of his own and very strong opinions which he never had any trouble expressing.  His first answer to any request was always either a very loud “NO” or “ABSOLUTELY NOT!”  He had all sorts of games up his sleeve.  As soon as I had an answer to one game, he brought out a new one.  For years, he tested me every single time I worked with him.  He challenged me to become better.  As I advanced from being able to play checkers to being able to play chess with him, his tests became smaller and smaller until he no longer needed to test me.  I have finally proven myself worthy of being his leader by gaining not only his trust, but also and more significantly, his respect.

This process took a long time and many people wondered why I persevered when I had easier horses I could work with.  But, there is something special - a connection - between Ever and me.  It was there when I first met him as a foal and his mischievous ways intrigued me.   If anything was within his reach from his stall he had it in his mouth.  He was constantly coming in from the paddock with bites, kicks and self inflicted injuries from testing his herd mates, fence lines and other solid objects.  He didn’t like to be told what to do nor did he like taking “no” for an answer.  He was a bully with horses and with people.  But, still there was something about him.  I admired and was intrigued by him.

The relationship that Ever and I now share is a testament to the training method I have learned from my mentor, Chris Irwin.  Ever would not be strong armed, intimidated or “loved” into being a well behaved horse.  He needed very clear, but appropriate boundaries;  pro-active rather than reactive training; and empathy.   I could not win his respect by avoiding the inevitable conflict.  I had to be able to push through it without escalating it.  That was probably the toughest lesson for me - that I could not avoid the conflict if I wanted to improve the relationship.  I had to go where I knew he would have a strong disagreement and then deal with his temper tantrum.   Each time we worked through the conflict, things got better.  His attitude became more positive.  He went from being a definite “no” horse to a “maybe” horse.

Ever is now the horse I can take out of the field any time and take for an enjoyable ride.  It doesn’t matter how long it has been since he was last ridden.   When I ask him for something, he sometimes replies with “really? are you sure?” and when I say “yes”, he says “ok”.   He seems to enjoy the time my company as much as I enjoy his.  We have developed a truly sacred trust and mutual respect for which I am for Ever grateful.

So, how DO horses help with the development of human potential?  Whether developing leadership skills, communication skills, team building, increasing self-esteem or any kind of personal growth and self improvement, the foundation is about RELATIONSHIP.  Relationship to others and relationship to oneself. 

To get a horse to become our willing, trusting and respectful partner, requires us to develop a positive relationship with the horse.  To do that, we have to become BETTER.  We have to become the person that horse needs us to be.  We have to EARN the right to be the leader.  We have to EARN the position of authority.  We have to EARN the horse’s trust and respect.  It is not something we get through demanding nor through assuming nor through dominance.  It can not be taken from the horse, but is something the horse must give us.  It is the same with people.

If you have read my earlier blogs, you know about my mare, Jewell.  I sold her several years ago and my husband just bought her back for me last fall. In the time that she was “away” (code for the time after I sold her), Jewell had been through some tough times and has lost her trust in people.  She is head shy so I had been keeping a leather halter on her at all times.  It broke recently & I had to remove it.  She has been living out in a large field with the mare herd.  I haven’t had any time to spend training Jewell, but I do take some time each day checking each of the mares and giving them a pat and a scratch. They knew something was up the other morning when I come into the field with my tape measure and clip board for recording their weight before worming them.  As I walked towards Jewell, she left - just walked away.  I spent several minutes pushing her around the field and keeping her out of the herd.  Eventually, she stopped and allowed my to approach her.  I approached at her shoulder, scratched her, and asked her to bring her head to me by bending around me (pressure to the girth “button”) so that I could put the halter on.  All was going well until I had the halter just over her nose.  That’s when I discovered how she really feels about halters.  Up went her head and away she went leaving me in her dust.  We played the same game again until she let me approach.  Again, she left as soon as I lifted the halter to her nose.  What I learned that morning is that her trust of me only goes so far.  That over the 5 or 6 years she was “away”, people have mishandled her head enough to create a total distrust of being haltered.  She has learned that it is not safe to give her head to people and allow them to put a halter on because it will be a negative experience for her.  I absolutely know that her issue is related to the halter because later that same day, Jewell did give me her head and allow me to rub and scratch all over her face and ears.  But, I didn’t have a halter in my hands.

So what does Jewell’s story have to do with horses helping with human development?  In order to get what I want from Jewell, I am going to have to figure out what she needs from me and give that to her.  It will happen in her time frame not mine.  It will happen when I have shown her that I am trustworthy.  It will happen when I have done what she needs me to do to earn her respect.  In order to get that from Jewell, I have to become a better person.  I have to have patience and empathy for her without feeling so guilty about the experiences she suffered while she was “away” that I become an ineffective leader.  I understand that she has learned this undesirable behaviour through the hands of people.  To gain her full trust and respect (I have already gained a bit of both - but only a little), I need to commit time to building our relationship.  I need to become a better person so she can become a better horse.  It’s reciprocal, you see.

As Chris Irwin says “Don’t ask what your horse can do for you. Ask what you can do for your horse.” 

Become the person your horse deserves.

I’ve just read an email from a woman who is running a horse rescue near me.  While her intentions are grand and she has helped several horses, her good deeds have been very difficult.  She is working hard - mostly on her own - and draining her own finances to run this small rescue.  Other people have not only taken advantage of her, but have then abandoned their own horses and stopped paying their bills which has only added to her work load, financial demands and stress level.

The cries to stop the slaughter of horses continue.  The supporters of “ban the slaughter” have good intentions. Yet, there is no abating the flow of unwanted, neglected, abandoned and abused horses.  Breeding continues at an amazing pace. It seems that, although there are many people wanting the help these animals,  there simply aren’t enough resources available.  Some rescues have gone out of business as the organizers simply have run out of funds or have burnt out physically and mentally from the strain.

My own barn is full and none of the horses who live here will ever end up at the slaughter house. When the time comes, they will be given a more dignified and humane death.  But, for many that simply is not an option.  Euthanasia and disposal of the corpse are not inexpensive.  So, what are the options if you can’t afford to keep your horse and you can’t afford to humanely euthanize your horse?  You can surrender her to a rescue (if they have room) or the Humane Society.  Although, some of these organizations now charge a fee to take the horse to help defray their costs.  You can sell your horse at an auction and hope for the best.  You can sell your horse to the “meat man” and know where she is going.

If you are thinking of buying a horse, or you already own one, do you have a plan for what will happen to your horse if your financial situation changes, you have to move and can’t take your horse with you, or in case of your death.  Think about it.  Make a plan.

If you have a spare stall in your barn & can afford to look after one more horse, why not adopt or foster a horse from the nearest rescue.  If you don’t have the room or finances to afford taking on a horse, consider making a donation of money, time or supplies to a rescue or maybe even running a fund raising event to support the rescue.  Giving is reciprocal.

In recent years, I have been approached with requests to help with difficult training issues such as bolting, spooking, rearing, and aggressiveness.  In most cases, the horse owner wants to know how long it will take to change the horse’s behaviour.  Unfortunately for the owner, I can only answer “it depends”.  It does not depend upon the owner’s time frame or agenda.  It does not depend on the owner’s budget.  It does not depend upon the show schedule, the upcoming big trail ride or the weather.

It depends upon the horse.  It depends on how deep the behaviour is ingrained.  It depends on what caused the behaviour in the first place. It depends upon how much the horse is able to forgive and is willing to let go of the old behaviour.  It also depends upon how much responsibility the owner is willing to accept for the behaviour and how willing he or she is to change how he or she is with the horse.  If the owner isn’t willing to change their behaviour and learn a different way of being with their horse, is it really fair to expect the horse to change?

Being with a horse is based on relationship.  What is true for our human to human relationships is also true for our human to horse relationships.  I cannot change anyone else.  I can only change myself.  The amazing thing is that as I change, the people (or horses) around me will notice and be affected by my change. 

There are no quick fixes with horses … or with people for that matter.  Be wary of anyone who guarantees they can “fix” or train your horse in 30 days.  This type of training relies on “one size fits all” thinking.   Be especially wary of trainers who do not want you to be part of the training process.  You need to know how your horse is being trained so that you can continue with the same training program when you take your horse home.  Be extremely wary of any trainers who do not want you to watch them training your horse.  You need to see how your horse is being trained so you can be sure that no violent methods are being employed.  Be wary of trainers who do not or cannot provide satisfactory answers to your questions.  There is always an explanation for what is going on and why a certain method is being used.

It is unfortunate that many people have been lead to believe in the 20 minutes in the round pen to taking the first saddle, bridle and rider; the 30 day “breaking” or starting model; the 3 months under saddle and ready to compete or be the perfect, “bomb proof” trail horse.  Training must never be rushed and must be set at the horse’s pace, not that of the owner or the trainer.

Remember the answer to “how long with it take” is always the same … “it depends”.

You might find this thread about a difficult training situation on the Chris Irwin forum interesting. 

 “I am having a problem with a three year old paint colt, who has spent his life to date handled with Chris’ methodologies. His groundwork is impeccable, he walks trots and canters in beautiful frame and has accepted bridle and now saddle and 6 months of lunging work. The issue comes about when the rider is mounted, and he is asked to go forward. While kept in a bend, he can stand to be mounted, but when enough of the ‘bend’ is let out to allow forward movement, he will snatch his head up, rear and flip over.  Yes, he has had his teeth checked and his chiropractic work done.  This trick seems to be a manipulation as he waits until the rider is in the awkward position of letting out enough slack, makes the request to go forward and the colt knows perfectly well he should step forward.  Rather than taking the step, he just says ‘No’ by a really nasty and dangerous device.  This is not a ‘half rear’ and threat, he means business and has gone over twice now. The rider is not in good position to address the evasion as hands and legs are pretty well occupied in self preservation.

Any ideas on how this could be handled would be much appreciated. We are getting pretty close to the end of the rope with this guy.”

You can read the full thread, including my response, by following this link http://www.chrisirwin.com/forum/index.php?topic=245.0

Anne Gage - The Confidence Coach
Helping horses & humans be better … together.
www.annegage.com
high.point.farm@gmail.com

I received the following story in an email & thought it worth sharing.  If anyone knows the original author, please let me know so credit can be given.

Your Horse is Your Gift

To have a horse in your life is a gift. In the matter of a few short years, a horse can teach a young girl courage, if she chooses to grab mane and hang on for dear life. Even the smallest of ponies is mightier than the tallest of girls. To conquer the fear of falling off, having one’s toes crushed, or being publicly humiliated at a horse show is an admirable feat for any child. For that, we can be grateful.

Horses teach us responsibility. Unlike a bicycle or a computer, a horse needs regular care and most of it requires that you get dirty and smelly and up off the couch. Choosing to leave your cozy kitchen to break the crust of ice off the water buckets is to choose responsibility. When our horses dip their noses and drink heartily; we know we’ve made the right choice.

Learning to care for a horse is both an art and a science. Some are easy keepers, requiring little more then regular turn-out, a flake of hay, a bit of feed and a trough of 
clean water. Others will test you - you’ll struggle to keep them from being too fat or too thin.

You’ll have their feet shod regularly only to find shoes gone missing. Some are so accident-prone you’ll swear they’re intentionally finding new ways to injure themselves. 

When you step back, it’s not just about horses - it’s about love, life, and learning. On any given day, a friend is celebrating the birth of a foal, a red ribbon, or recovery from an illness. That same day, there is also loss: a broken limb, a case of colic, a decision to sustain a life or end it gently. As horse people, we share the accelerated life cycle of horses: the hurried rush of life, love, loss, and death that caring for these animals brings us. When our partners pass, it is more than a moment of sorrow.

Anne Gage - The Confidence Coach
Helping horses & humans be better … together.
www.annegage.com
high.point.farm@gmail.com

While having coffee with a good friend the other day, the conversation turned to horses and the particular problem she was experiencing with her new riding partner who is a relatively green horse.   She had recently bought him to replace her older, well schooled mare.  She was having problems with the trot to canter transitions.  The transitions were inconsistent.  Sometimes he ran into them.  Sometimes he picked up the wrong lead.  Sometimes they were okay.  Sometimes she couldn’t get them at all.

My friend was not blaming her horse. She sincerely wanted to resolve this problem both for her horse’s sake and her own.  However, she was making an assumption about her horse.  She was assuming that he “knew” what she was asking him to do and that he was capable of just doing it.

At one point she said that she didn’t mind if her horse ran into the canter because a bad transition was better than no transition.  At least she was getting the canter.  Again, she was making an assumption.  She assumed that the transitions would just get better eventually.

What my friend assumed was that her horse understood “exactly” what she wanted him to do.  She assumed that his understanding of her aids and intention was exactly the same as her understanding. 

Truth is this young horse doesn’t really know what specifically he is being asked to do.  He has been trained to understand that certain cues or aids mean he should go forward.  But, forward could mean more trot, an extended trot, a collected trot or a canter transition.  He gives a response to a cue.  If his response is what the rider was wanting, he has to be told “yes” in a way that is clear to him.  Removing the pressure of the cue would indicate that he has given the desired response.   If his response is not what the rider wanted, he has to be told “no” in a way that is clear to him.  The rider also has to make sure that the horse is set up properly in order to be able to complete the desired task.  In my friend’s case, for the canter transition, she first must make sure the horse is traveling in a balanced, forward trot with his hind quarter engaged and his back round.  Once that is achieved, she must give the cue for the canter transition.  If the horse responds by “running”, she needs to tell him “no” by bringing him calmly back to the balanced, forward, engaged trot.  Then she must give him the exact same cue for the canter transition.  Every time he responds with anything other than a canter, she must bring him calmly back to the balanced, round, forward trot.

My friend listened, nodded, and replied, “So if I let him run into the transition, he will think that is how he is supposed to do it.”  She would be training him to run into the canter transition rather than smoothly moving into the canter from the trot.

Horses are not mind readers and don’t know what we want.  Here’s an exercise to try with a friend which will give you a better idea of what it is like for the horse.  Stand with your arms stretched out in front of you and hold a lunge line between your hands to simulate the horse having the bit in his mouth.  Your friend stands behind you holding the ends of the lunge line like reins.  You close your eyes.  Have your friend move you around the arena without giving any vocal cues just by moving your body with pressure from the reins. 

My friend had been assuming that her horse“knew” what was expected and had been getting frustrated that he wasn’t responding the way she wanted.  Once she changed her thinking and understood her horse’s perspective, she was able to change her training method to help her horse achieve the kind of transition she wanted.

Rather than assuming what your horse is thinking or understanding, how can you change your perspective so that you can grow as a rider?  Assuming is a self-defense mechanism. If you assume the horse is just being difficult, or stubborn, or lazy, you can’t be at fault.  The key to good training is not assuming, but understanding.

Anne Gage - The Confidence Coach
Helping horses & humans be better … together.
www.annegage.com
high.point.farm@gmail.com

Aren’t we looking at this issue backwards? Whether horses are sent to slaughter, euthanized, abandoned or sent to a rescue facility the question remains …. why are there so many unwanted horses?  Why are so many horses being bred each year?  About 100,000 horses are bred each year in the US just for the racing industry.  Not many of these horses will actually end up making it at the race track.  And, it’s not just the racing industry, most breeders are focused on producing “winners” for some discipline.  What happens to all those horses that aren’t “good enough”?  What happens to the horses that become dangerous because of bad training?  What happens to the old, the sick and the lame horses?

Reality is, until we find a way to stop producing so many horses, there has to be a plan for dealing with the “unwanted” ones.  Is going to slaughter better or worse than being abandoned, neglected, starved, abused?  Until we figure out how to stop producing so many horses, can the processing plants and the shipping process be made more “humane” and treat the animals with respect and dignity? 

What would happen if breeders were required to be responsible for every horse they produce?  So, that if someone could no longer afford to look after their horse, he would be returned to the breeder just like the adoption contracts of many rescue programs require. 

Is stopping horse slaughter the answer?  Depends on what the question was. 

Are we even asking the right questions?

Related links:
http://unwantedhorses.org/
http://unwantedhorsecoalition.org/

My philosophy is that fear is not talked about because of the macho tradition of horse training and riding. Traditional training techniques require that the human is in control all the time and as much force as is necessary is used to ensure that control. When I was learning to ride, I was often reminded to not show any signs of fear around a horse as the horse would sense my fear and then be able to dominate me. I was also taught to never let the horse “win”. This means, of course, that there is a winner and loser every time a person is with the horse. It becomes a very competitive relationship rather than a cooperative one. So, I used to hide any fear behind anger. It was okay to be angry with my horse. It wasn’t okay to be afraid. Not the best way to establish a healthy relationship.

So, in the horse world we don’t feel comfortable talking about our fear. Instead we find ways to avoid riding - the weather’s too windy or too nice - we procrastinate, we just don’t have the time. And the more we avoid it, the more fear gains a strangle hold on us. Every woman in our workshop had a dream about the way their lives with horses would be. They had a passion about horses and, at one time, horses brought joy into their lives. As the fear grew, their passion and joy were taken away and were replaced by guilt, embarrassment and shame.

To live with any sense of safety and security, we allow ourselves to believe that we are in control. Then something happens to shatter that illusion. The dormant seeds of fear that rest within our psyche take root. With our thoughts, feelings and actions, we feed those seedlings and the vine that is fear takes a stronger hold. Unless a vine is cut back, it eventually covers and demolishes whatever it is growing over.

The big question in the workshop was, “How do I get over this fear? ” We get over our fear in the same way we get control of the over grown vine - by cutting it back. There are several steps to ‘pruning’ your fear:

1) Analyze & understand the origins of your fear

2) Look at the emotion objectively so you can intellectualize it

3) Develop a plan to counteract it

4) Implement that plan

6) Enlist a support system

Safety and security do not exist. The potential to be hurt physically and/or emotionally is always present. But, most of us do not focus every minute of conscious thinking on all of the possible dangers that exist or we would not be able to function. Fear serves to keep us safe from harm not take the joy out of our lives. If you are fearful around horses, you are not alone. You can get your fear under control is you are willing to make the choice and do the work.

Anne Gage - The Confidence Coach
Helping horses & humans be better … together.
www.annegage.com
high.point.farm@gmail.com

Four years ago, I was bucked off one of my horses. This wasn’t the first time I had been bucked off. Anyone who has been riding for any length of time -especially those of us who ride young horses and retrain “problem” horses - has had this experience. You dust yourself off and get back on …or you don’t. As a professional horseperson, this particular experience put me at a cross roads. My confidence was shaken. I hadn’t seen it coming and when it came, it was explosive. This particular horse had an ongoing physical issue that we thought (until that moment) we had under control. There was no option to get back in the saddle on him at that time. The result for me was serious. I became nervous about getting on any horse - especially horses that I did not know. As a horse trainer & riding coach, this was a real threat to my livelihood. I either had to work through my fear or give up what I love and find another way to make a living. The choice was easy. The journey was not.

For a long while, I had to coach myself through getting on every horse. I would do some ground work first so that I had a good read on how the horse was feeling that day. I would take my time getting into the saddle, making sure I was breathing deeply to release the adrenalin that was flowing freely through me and releasing tension I was holding in my body. A tense body cannot feel the horse nor can it send clear messages to the horse. After a while (not a short while), the fear of getting on all horses diminished and eventually went away. All that remained was the fear of getting on horses with a history of bucking and putting the first ride on horses. What continued to feed my fear was not only the memory of my own last experience of being bucked off, but the experiences of other people I knew. I added their experiences and injuries to my own fear.

What caused this fear to take such a hold on me? I no longer trusted MYSELF. I no longer trusted my ability to read the horse, pro-actively prevent the behaviour or ride through the bucking. I could have just walked away and not dealt with the fear. Why did I make myself work through it? My desire to keep riding, training and teaching was stronger than the fear.

Last week-end, while assisting Chris Irwin at a clinic, I was presented with the opportunity to face my ‘demon’ in a public environment, but with my coach there to help me through it. I had to trust in my own ability to read and ride this horse without triggering his “button” while keeping my own issues in check. I also had to trust my coach to guide me through it. He had to know when to push and when to back off; when I needed him to “hold my hand” and when he had to let me go it alone.

This 4 year old gelding was also full of fear. He had been through several bad training experiences in his short career and had a great mistrust of trainers and new people. He now bucked off any trainer who tried to ride him. I accepted this opportunity to help both myself and this horse. As I worked with Sparky in his stall and through the ground work exercises, I realized how his fear mirrored my own. He was braced, tense and expecting the worst to happen. After 2 plus hours of work from the ground, we both relaxed and developed a mutual trust and respect for each other. As I prepared to mount him, he stood calmly, relaxed, bending around my leg and keeping his head low. This was a far cry from his reaction the day before when I first sat on him. He had been good in the ground work (with another trainer), but became tense and braced as soon as he realized I was getting ready to get on and ride. With my coach heading him, I initially lay across his back several times before throwing a leg over to sit in the saddle. After a minute of just following his bend while my coach led him from the ground, he relaxed enough for us to go on our own. We walked for several minutes and then finished the ride with some good walk/halt/walk transitions.

This second ride was going much better as he listened beautifully to my leg and maintained a soft, supple body for most of the ride. Both of us exhaled and relaxed. That is, until 3 more horses came into the arena and his attention was gone. I started to lose it mentally. Now, I was really pushing my “edge” of fear. If my coach hadn’t been there, I would have gotten off. The horse was simply interested in the other horses and wanted to go check them out. He started pushing through my aids. I stopped thinking and my body became very tense. I fell totally into the clutches of my fear. So much so that I couldn’t feel the horse properly and I knew that through my tension I might trigger him to buck.

My coach reassured me that the horse was not stressed; only distracted. Chris talked me through getting his attention back to me. Something I would have been able to do on my own had I not submitted to my fear. Within a couple of minutes, the horse was again listening, cooperative and soft. I was riding again. Then we faced a bigger test. One of the horses - a big, grey gelding - spooked and ran from one end of the arena to the other going right past Sparky & me! I didn’t panic - although I had to ask someone afterwards to please pick my heart up out of the dirt and give it back to me! In that moment, I remembered what to do and did it. The little gelding stayed calm, level and didn’t so much as flick an ear at the commotion. I had truly ridden through my fear.

The purpose of normal (healthy) fear is to keep us safe. This “friendly” fear is a warning mechanism. My fear had gone beyond this purpose and had become a debilitating, unhealthy fear. After working with Sparky, I knew that I must change the relationship I had developed with fear. This fear was not my friend. My fear was actually harming me by shutting down my brain and body. It was taking away something I loved and enjoyed doing. I made the choice to work through my fear - to face my demon. The little dark horse’s fear mirrored mine. By helping him work through his fear, he helped me work through my own. I have taken a great step forward. I still have some work to do to ensure that I keep my fear in check and do not allow it to debilitate me again. Fear should be my friend not my controller. My journey continues.

If you are facing fear either in riding or another area of your life, here are some questions and ideas to help you work through it … if that is what you choose to do.

1) What is the real cause of the fear? … The real cause of my fear was not being bucked off. The true root was NOT TRUSTING MYSELF; not trusting my ability to read the situation, prevent the situation or ride through the situation.

2) Why work through the fear? … My desire to keep riding, training and teaching

3) How do I get through the fear?

i) recognize when fear is taking hold then acknowledge it & feel it

ii) decide that I want to work through it

iii) develop relaxation techniques that work for me - breathing, stretching, positive self-talk

iv) replace negative self-talk & thoughts with positive ones - do not let your thoughts spiral out of control

v) evaluate my ability to deal with the situation - do I need new skills? What are they & where can I get them?

vi) work with a person/coach and a horse I trust & respect

vii) go back to basics

viii) be patient with myself

Anne Gage
Helping horses & humans be better … together.
www.annegage.com